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Family & Relationships How To Tell Your Kids They're Going To Have A Sibling

20:55  08 january  2018
20:55  08 january  2018 Source:   huffingtonpost.com

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We asked family experts for their tips on how to tell kids they ’ re about to have a new brother or sister. When the baby does arrive, perhaps gift the new older brother or sister a doll so they can nurture it alongside you taking care of their sibling .

If they see you explode if something doesn’t go right for you, they ’ re likely to react that way themselves. Set a good example by facing up to Tell them about your own siblings , if you have them, and concentrate on the fun times you had together as kids and how they ’ re still always there

person throwing a frisbee at the park: You want to make sure everyone is on the same page.© mrs via Getty Images You want to make sure everyone is on the same page. Welcoming a new addition to the family is a time for celebration. But first, parents who already have kids have to explain to them what the heck is going to happen.

We asked family experts for their tips on how to tell kids they’re about to have a new brother or sister. Whether your family is about to get bigger via pregnancy, adoption or another route, here are some pointers on what to say, what to avoid and what to anticipate.

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"One of the biggest jobs for kids under 5 is learning how to understand their feelings and how to regulate them," Korfmacher says. We went to experts to find out how parents can connect with those little minds. They ' re just telling you they ' re not sure they like the idea of a sibling yet!)

TOUGH BREAK KIDS , you' re going to have a younger _____. Tell future kids about their sibling ? How do you keep older kids from telling younger siblings that Santa is not real? At what age should I tell my kids that they have other siblings ?

  How To Tell Your Kids They're Going To Have A Sibling 10 Fun Facts About Birth Order

Include your child in your preparations

Dr. Gail Gross, a human behavior and family expert, told HuffPost that you should try to “invest” your child, especially toddlers, in the process of welcoming a new sibling by allowing him or her to shop for items for their new brother or sister and offer opinions on names.

You can also include your kids in announcing the baby news to others, said Dr. Holly Schiffrin, professor of psychological science at the University of Mary Washington, and ask them to help you decorate the nursery.

When it comes to older kids, Dr. Susan Buttross, medical director of the Center for the Advancement of Youth at Universal of Mississippi Medical Center and spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics, noted that they, too, can have a difficult time with the idea of a new family member taking time and resources away from them. To avoid this, Buttross suggested reminding teens that they will not have to fill the role of caretaker, and that they will play an important part in their sibling’s life and “will likely be a star in the baby’s eyes.”

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Whether your big kid is four or 14, telling them that they 'll have a new baby sibling can rock their world. It'll impact their day-to-day lives in a way that can occasionally be difficult for them to process. If you' re struggling with how to break the news

If he wants it to stop, coach him on how to speak up effectively—without yelling—by using “I” phrases, such as, “I don’t “If they ’ re demanding and they yell, they learn they ’ re going to get pushback from siblings ,” says Arnall. Instead, tell all kids they ’ re in charge of one another—and themselves, too.

Make the idea tangible

“Young children don’t have the cognitive abilities to think in the abstract, so make it as tangible as possible for them,” Schiffrin said. She suggested mentioning their friends who have younger siblings or turning to children’s books about the subject.

Younger children also don’t have “a very good sense of time,” she added, so countdowns can help them adjust. When the baby does arrive, perhaps gift the new older brother or sister a doll so they can nurture it alongside you taking care of their sibling.

Be aware of how you talk about the sibling

Buttross stressed that you should avoid equating a new sibling with time taken away from the rest of the family.

“There will be plenty of time to work on the logistics and specifics once the bonding of the siblings has happened,” she said. “Be careful about causing resentment before arrival! Don’t set up a competitive feel.”

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Worried that the new baby is going to upset your older child? Take simple steps now to help them be the best "A lot of the information that's meant to prepare kids for a new baby focuses on the conflict or dissatisfaction that comes with having a sibling How to Tell Your Toddler That You' re Pregnant.

Affection shouldn't be seen as obligatory or inevitable, but should be allowed to form naturally, as siblings go through experiences together. "Constantly telling your kids that they ' re not close enough will do them more harm than good," she adds.

It is also crucial to not discount a child’s feelings about the idea of a new sibling. According to Gross, you can instead “confirm” your kid’s feelings with sentences like, “Of course you feel this way” or “I understand completely.”

“Empathy goes a long way toward cooperation,” she said.

Communicate, communicate, communicate

While your family is transitioning, you should set time apart to check in with your children. Gross suggested picking a neutral place (like the kitchen, for example) and asking family members how they’re feeling.

“At least once a week, create a time and a quiet place to have a family conversation, where you can all take turns, as a family, talking about your feelings in an empathic way,” she said. ”This is how we make a family that is collaborative and not competitive ― whole rather than split.”

The chat is a good time to see if your child is feeling defensive about the sibling’s upcoming arrival and how it will change his or her daily life. If those feelings do come up, taking out baby photos of the child and discussing the fun stories behind them can remind kids of their importance in the family.

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It's not good for one child to have to hold a secret from their siblings until a parent tells other kids ." Reassure your kids they ' re not to blame. "Allow them to be hurt angry and disappointed without going into details or blaming about the end of the marriage.

You’ re literally going to be your sibling ’s superhero. I socked a boy in the face when I was a little kid for calling my sister a retard, and it was one of You’ re going to try to tell your best friends who don’t know your sibling about how great he or she is, and how awful they can be, and you’ re going to do

“Be sure to let your child know that they always will have an important spot and will always be special, no matter what,” she said.

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.

Related video: A real kinder surprise – Kids open chocolate to find out they are getting a sibling. Provided by Storytrender

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