Family & Relationships One Reason Couples May Have Trouble Making Up After a Fight

22:15  28 july  2017
22:15  28 july  2017 Source:   Real Simple

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Home / Make Up After a Fight . Many couples take a “time out” after a fight , either by mutual agreement or, unfortunately, because one person has How you do this varies – one woman may need a hug after a fight , while another does not want to be touched at all while she is still angry.

All this time may lead to nit picking or even literal backseat driving. After an extended period of time this can ware on a couple . 4 shocking things I learned after quitting social media. Is our fighting 'normal' or is our relationship in trouble ?

  One Reason Couples May Have Trouble Making Up After a Fight © Wendy Idele/Getty Images

Showing emotional commitment is the best way for couples to make up after an argument, according to a new study. But—surprise, surprise—the researchers found that men and women tend to do this differently and expect different things from each other, as well.

The study, published in Evolutionary Psychological Science, found that women appreciate it when male partners spend time with them after a conflict, ask forgiveness or show remorse, and even shed a few tears. Men, on the other hand, consider kind gestures and sexual favors the best ways to apologize.

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Why Do Couples Fight About Money? When one partner has trouble talking about money – or has an To learn more about solving money problems for couples , read How to Apologize to Your Spouse After a Money Fight . 7 Reasons He Doesn’t Talk to You. When to Give Up on a Relationship.

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As stereotypical as they sound, these results may help couples—heterosexual couples, at least—understand each other better, say the study authors, and may help reconciliation after arguments go more smoothly.

To examine male and female responses to relationship conflict, researchers from Bucknell University first asked 38 women and 36 men to write down a few specific actions that someone of their gender was likely to do when attempting to “make up” after a fight with his or her partner. Their responses were then given to another group of men and women, who were asked to rate which methods they thought would be most effective.

As suspected, men were more likely than women to express that having a partner offer sex or nice gestures would be an effective way to make peace and get back to normal after a squabble. (This is consistent with previous studies that show that men “are more likely to stay with partners who are sexually accessible,” the authors wrote.)

The One Thing You Should Be Doing to Strengthen Your Relationship

  The One Thing You Should Be Doing to Strengthen Your Relationship We're definitely trying this.The study, presented at the British Psychological Society's Annual Conference in Brighton, England, involved a group of 38 participants (19 couples) who answered questionnaires assessing their physical and mental wellbeing, including stress levels, mental clarity, mood, and relationship satisfaction before and after massage sessions with their partner, according to Health. The results? Both partners saw improvement in overall wellbeing, stress, and coping abilities after each massage session, and the effects remained even three weeks later.

That is, if your spouse loves physical affection, then you might make up after a fight faster if you hug, kiss, and caress her. 7 Reasons He Doesn’t Talk to You. When to Give Up on a Relationship. What to Do When You Don’t Trust Your Husband.

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Related: 10 Simple Romantic Gestures To Say I Love You (Provided by Astrocenter)

Write a cute love note.: <p>Just before your partner heads out to work in the morning, why not place and sweet little note in their jacket pocket or in their bag for them to find during the day? Even if it’s just a short and sweet ‘I love you’, it’ll do the job! Although, if you want to get a little more elaborate, go for it! Either way you’ll give your partner that desired warm and fuzzy feeling.</p><p>Succeed in love and life with the advice from a trusted life advisor.</p> 10 Simple Romantic Gestures To Say I Love You

Women, on the other hand, considered it more effective for a partner to be emotionally available, rather than physically—and they thought it was more important for partners to simply spend time together after a fight than to have sex.

Of course, these are generalizations, and not every male-female relationship will exhibit these dynamics. And on a more positive note, the authors do note that strategies like communication, apologizing, offering forgiveness, and compromising were all rated more highly across both genders than less constructive methods (like drinking alcohol, ignoring each other, or pretending the fight never happened).

But the study does support the researchers’ hypothesis that, from an evolutionary perspective, men and women look for different types of reassurances after a rocky patch. And couples may be smart to keep that in mind, they say.

Perspective | The sex talk isn’t enough: How parents can teach teens about healthy relationships

  Perspective | The sex talk isn’t enough: How parents can teach teens about healthy relationships A new report shows Mom and Dad don't seem to be facing the issue. Here's how to do it.According to a report released today by Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project, parents worry a great deal about the hookup culture, but ignore the fact that young people are unprepared to learn how to love and develop caring, healthy romantic relationships.

10 Things You Should Never Do After a Fight With Your Husband. Avoid these moves, and that "we made up " feeling will actually stick. More from Woman's Day. Getty. Created with Sketch. By Caitlin Moscatello. Sep 12, 2016. It's completely normal—and healthy—for couples to argue.

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If one partner is trying to offer an olive branch, for example, but can’t figure out why the other partner isn’t interested in reconciling, “it could be because their reconciliation actions do not tap into the partner’s basic desires regarding expected emotional or sexual access from them,” lead author T. Joel Wade, PhD, professor of psychology at Bucknell University, told Real Simple via email.

In fact, Wade says, it would be smart to think closely about what one’s partner is really looking for—and to make a real effort to provide them with that. “Good/successful relationships involve being in tune with a partner’s needs and desires,” he says, “and making compromises if necessary.”

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